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<title>src/Lambdabot/Plugin/Novelty/Slap.hs</title>
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<pre><a name="line-1"></a><span class='hs-comment'>-- | Support for quotes</span>
<a name="line-2"></a><span class='hs-keyword'>module</span> <span class='hs-conid'>Lambdabot</span><span class='hs-varop'>.</span><span class='hs-conid'>Plugin</span><span class='hs-varop'>.</span><span class='hs-conid'>Novelty</span><span class='hs-varop'>.</span><span class='hs-conid'>Slap</span> <span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-varid'>slapPlugin</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span> <span class='hs-keyword'>where</span>
<a name="line-3"></a>
<a name="line-4"></a><span class='hs-keyword'>import</span> <span class='hs-conid'>Lambdabot</span><span class='hs-varop'>.</span><span class='hs-conid'>Plugin</span>
<a name="line-5"></a><span class='hs-keyword'>import</span> <span class='hs-conid'>Lambdabot</span><span class='hs-varop'>.</span><span class='hs-conid'>Util</span>
<a name="line-6"></a>
<a name="line-7"></a><a name="Slap"></a><span class='hs-keyword'>type</span> <span class='hs-conid'>Slap</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>=</span> <span class='hs-conid'>ModuleT</span> <span class='hs-conid'>()</span> <span class='hs-conid'>LB</span>
<a name="line-8"></a>
<a name="line-9"></a><a name="slapPlugin"></a><span class='hs-definition'>slapPlugin</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>::</span> <span class='hs-conid'>Module</span> <span class='hs-conid'>()</span>
<a name="line-10"></a><span class='hs-definition'>slapPlugin</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>=</span> <span class='hs-varid'>newModule</span>
<a name="line-11"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>{</span> <span class='hs-varid'>moduleCmds</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>=</span> <span class='hs-varid'>return</span>
<a name="line-12"></a> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>[</span> <span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-varid'>command</span> <span class='hs-str'>"slap"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-13"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>{</span> <span class='hs-varid'>aliases</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>=</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>[</span><span class='hs-str'>"smack"</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>]</span>
<a name="line-14"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span> <span class='hs-varid'>help</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>=</span> <span class='hs-varid'>say</span> <span class='hs-str'>"slap <nick>. Slap someone amusingly."</span>
<a name="line-15"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span> <span class='hs-varid'>process</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>=</span> <span class='hs-varid'>slap</span>
<a name="line-16"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>}</span>
<a name="line-17"></a> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>]</span>
<a name="line-18"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>}</span>
<a name="line-19"></a>
<a name="line-20"></a><span class='hs-comment'>------------------------------------------------------------------------</span>
<a name="line-21"></a>
<a name="line-22"></a><a name="slap"></a><span class='hs-definition'>slap</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>::</span> <span class='hs-conid'>String</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-conid'>Cmd</span> <span class='hs-conid'>Slap</span> <span class='hs-conid'>()</span>
<a name="line-23"></a><span class='hs-definition'>slap</span> <span class='hs-str'>"me"</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>=</span> <span class='hs-keyword'>do</span>
<a name="line-24"></a> <span class='hs-varid'>target</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'><-</span> <span class='hs-varid'>showNick</span> <span class='hs-varop'>=<<</span> <span class='hs-varid'>getSender</span>
<a name="line-25"></a> <span class='hs-varid'>slapRandom</span> <span class='hs-varid'>target</span>
<a name="line-26"></a><span class='hs-definition'>slap</span> <span class='hs-str'>"yourself"</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>=</span> <span class='hs-keyword'>do</span>
<a name="line-27"></a> <span class='hs-varid'>target</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'><-</span> <span class='hs-varid'>showNick</span> <span class='hs-varop'>=<<</span> <span class='hs-varid'>getLambdabotName</span>
<a name="line-28"></a> <span class='hs-varid'>slapRandom</span> <span class='hs-varid'>target</span>
<a name="line-29"></a><span class='hs-definition'>slap</span> <span class='hs-varid'>target</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>=</span>
<a name="line-30"></a> <span class='hs-varid'>slapRandom</span> <span class='hs-varid'>target</span>
<a name="line-31"></a>
<a name="line-32"></a><a name="slapRandom"></a><span class='hs-definition'>slapRandom</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>::</span> <span class='hs-conid'>String</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-conid'>Cmd</span> <span class='hs-conid'>Slap</span> <span class='hs-conid'>()</span>
<a name="line-33"></a><span class='hs-definition'>slapRandom</span> <span class='hs-varid'>tgt</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>=</span> <span class='hs-varid'>say</span> <span class='hs-varop'>.</span> <span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-varop'>$</span> <span class='hs-varid'>tgt</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span> <span class='hs-varop'>=<<</span> <span class='hs-varid'>random</span> <span class='hs-varid'>slapList</span>
<a name="line-34"></a>
<a name="line-35"></a><a name="slapList"></a><span class='hs-definition'>slapList</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>::</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>[</span><span class='hs-conid'>String</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-conid'>String</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>]</span>
<a name="line-36"></a><span class='hs-definition'>slapList</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>=</span>
<a name="line-37"></a> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>[</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me slaps "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-38"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me smacks "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" about with a large trout"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-39"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me beats up "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-40"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me pokes "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" in the eye"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-41"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"why on earth would I slap "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>"?"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-42"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"*SMACK*, *SLAM*, take that "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>"!"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-43"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-keyword'>_</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me activates her slap-o-matic..."</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-44"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me orders her trained monkeys to punch "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-45"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me smashes a lamp on "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>possesiveForm</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" head"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-46"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me hits "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" with a hammer, so they breaks into a thousand pieces"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-47"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me throws some pointy lambdas at "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-48"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me loves "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>", so no slapping"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-49"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me would never hurt "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>"!"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-50"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"go slap "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" yourself"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-51"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-keyword'>_</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"I won't; I want to go get some cookies instead."</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-52"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"I'd rather not; "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" looks rather dangerous."</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-53"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-keyword'>_</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"I don't perform such side effects on command!"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-54"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-keyword'>_</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"stop telling me what to do"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-55"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me clobbers "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" with an untyped language"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-56"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me pulls "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" through the Evil Mangler"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-57"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me secretly deletes "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>possesiveForm</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" source code"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-58"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me places her fist firmly on "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>possesiveForm</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" jaw"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-59"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me locks up "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" in a Monad"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-60"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me submits "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>possesiveForm</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" email address to a dozen spam lists"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-61"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me moulds "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" into a delicous cookie, and places it in her oven"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-62"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-keyword'>_</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me will count to five..."</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-63"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me jabs "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" with a C pointer"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-64"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me is overcome by a sudden desire to hurt "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-65"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me karate-chops "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" into two equally sized halves"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-66"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"Come on, let's all slap "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-67"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me pushes "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" from his chair"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-68"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me hits "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" with an assortment of kitchen utensils"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-69"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me slaps "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" with a slab of concrete"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-70"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me puts on her slapping gloves, and slaps "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-71"></a> <span class='hs-layout'>,</span><span class='hs-layout'>(</span><span class='hs-keyglyph'>\</span><span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-str'>"/me decomposes "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>" into several parts using the Banach-Tarski theorem and reassembles them to get two copies of "</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>"!"</span><span class='hs-layout'>)</span>
<a name="line-72"></a> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>]</span>
<a name="line-73"></a>
<a name="line-74"></a><a name="possesiveForm"></a><span class='hs-comment'>-- | The possesive form of a name, "x's"</span>
<a name="line-75"></a><span class='hs-definition'>possesiveForm</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>::</span> <span class='hs-conid'>String</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>-></span> <span class='hs-conid'>String</span>
<a name="line-76"></a><span class='hs-definition'>possesiveForm</span> <span class='hs-conid'>[]</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>=</span> <span class='hs-conid'>[]</span>
<a name="line-77"></a><span class='hs-definition'>possesiveForm</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span>
<a name="line-78"></a> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>|</span> <span class='hs-varid'>last</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>==</span> <span class='hs-chr'>'s'</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>=</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>"'"</span>
<a name="line-79"></a> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>|</span> <span class='hs-varid'>otherwise</span> <span class='hs-keyglyph'>=</span> <span class='hs-varid'>x</span> <span class='hs-varop'>++</span> <span class='hs-str'>"'s"</span>
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